When thinking of my own sexual interests and pleasures the concepts of top and bottom, common as they are, don’t mean much. It’s complicated. I have a personality that often takes charge of situations, and I can be intense and usually manage to get what I need in a situation, whether in business or pleasure. But I can be very receptive. I like to let situations resolve themselves. I love to suck a man’s cock, and have only recently discovered the pleasure of being sucked. Even at my age I am discovering new things about myself and my relations with others. How about you?We talked about our early interest in other boys, and I sent him my story about the first time I ejaculated, when I was twelve or thirteen years old.I’m excited to hear about all your stories. Wow. 13? Wish I could have done that at 13. I’ve had an interest in guys for as long as I can remember. Looking at other boys in the locker room in grade school and middle school. And then high school. Always longing to touch. I took his hand in one of mine and stroked his hair with the other.And then I cried.It all bubbled up inside me and all the emotions overflowed. The hurt, the anger, the guilt, the sorrow, the fear – they all poured out and there was nothing I could do to stop them.Damn Henry Bell for not keeping it in his pants, for not being a father to his children, for not loving us the way Burt loved Maria and the rest of his family.Damn Kyle's new buddies for their amorality, their attitude that they were due, no matter who they harmed in their pursuits of instant gratification.Damn Kyle for listening to them all and trying to follow in their footsteps.Damn Christina for making a big deal out of things. It was only a fucking blow job, it wouldn't have killed her.The divorce, the move, starting over. Just when things started going better, we got dragged to that damned cave. Yeah, it was great to go through that treatment or whatever it was and come out looking like a teenager on steroids..
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